Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
