oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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