i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
we're making bets on your personal life
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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