How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
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Acid is not a monday night drug
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
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Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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