3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
