bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
