And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize