fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize