yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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