WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
