Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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