talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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