She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
