marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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