just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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