question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
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