Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize