Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
