Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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