Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
