someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I cockslap morals
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
