If i come over, it means nothing
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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