I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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