Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You may now shotgun with the bride
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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