Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
