I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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