From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
