would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
