thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
