That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
We're too hungover to prance.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
