Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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