This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
