im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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