we have officially lost it.
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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