We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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