I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
This is my gift to your gina
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
