Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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