i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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