it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
