So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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