Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize