My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize