We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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