It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
