Me. At least after what I've been through.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
