OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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