you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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