Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
