She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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