Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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