Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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