Yo dont text me then not text me
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I would ride that face into the sunset
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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