Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
