So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
