You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
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