Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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