where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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