he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
